A few people that I am close to in my life are going through a divorce right now. I hate to see the suffering on both sides, but sometimes a split is necessary. I think bearing witness to this is what prompted me to have the following dream:
In the dream my husband and I were moving across the country. He was starting a new job and had bought a new house. The place we were moving to, I want to say it was Idaho, was a place where he had lived before. He had a life there before he knew me and on the car ride he talked to me about it. He talked mostly about a girl named Tara. Tara was his long lost love. He said we would have to deal with her, that she came with the territory. He told me she was very pushy and liked to get her way. He said I would have to stand my ground with her.
When we arrived at our new house this Tara person was there. She was a showgirl, a beautiful, exotic showgirl. Her voice was milky and sweet. Her eyes were dark and used to getting what they wanted. What she wanted was a private word with my husband so they went in the other room for a moment to talk. When he came out again it was to tell me that our marriage was over and that I had to leave his house at once. He was going to divorce me for this showgirl, Tara.
I was in a new place, where I didn’t know anyone. I had a credit card in my purse so I started looking for a hotel. I was walking down an unfamiliar street reliving my recent eviction over and over in my head and the pain began to sink in.
The pain was crippling. It started in my left arm, a dull, warm, internal wound that spread from my shoulder to my finger tips and up again to my neck. Then the pain went into my chest and consumed my heart. It felt like there were claws inside of me ripping away something that had grown attached to me and shared my blood supply.
I found an oddly shaped structure that seemed to be some sort of novelty hotel shaped somewhat like a typewriter. I went in and found an older gentleman at the front desk. He had Beatles length silver hair and an obnoxious Hawaiian shirt. Maybe it was the Heartbreak Hotel. The desk clerk took one look and seemed to know my needs. I don’t remember how, but he got me to tell him my story. I told him about my break-up and my pain. He told me this story:
“When two people decide that they love each other, subconsciously they share something that is called Electric Spider Webs. It’s called that, because that is what it looks like, thin blue and red strands, glowing with electric sparks connecting them from chest to chest. If you were to look inside the chest cavities of a couple sharing Electric Spider Webs between them, then you would see thousands of tiny electric strands running between them. The strands are connected in each person to a ‘system core’. It’s an anatomy that we are not familiar with in the physical world. It’s another part of us that we usually choose not to see. But basically Electric Spider Webs plug one human being into another on an emotional plain. The more experiences you share with the person determines how many strands run between you. If you have good experiences together the strands double their numbers until it looks like a thick electrical cable connecting soul to soul. If you have bad experiences together the numbers dwindle and you’re able to see the individual delicate webs wisping and floating in the air. Whether the Electric Spider Webs are gentle, fragile wisps or thick, throbbing cables it hurts like hell to disconnect them.
There is only one way to disconnect Electric Spider Webs. You have to rip them out by the root, and when they are gone all that is left is a painful, gaping hole.”
I looked around the hotel and suddenly I could see these Electric Spider Webs connecting one person to the next. A man and a woman walked by. You could tell that they must have been together for a long time because between them, from chest to chest, was a huge thick cable glowing red and blue. The woman excused herself into the restroom and the man leaned against the wall outside. The cable between them stretched and grew effortlessly to accommodate the space between them.
The clerk behind the counter observed this with me and continued.
“When the Electric Spider Webs are strong, they can stretch thousands, even millions of miles. They can stretch across the county, the world and even the universe. Weak spider webs can stretch just as far but time will weaken them and they will eventually disconnect.”
Now that I was aware of these Electric Spider Webs I could see them everywhere, crossing from one person to the next. Some had only a few weak connections fluttering lightly in the air. Some people had two sets of them going in opposite directions to different people. Sometimes you could see the other person connected by the webs and sometimes they just seemed to stretch into oblivion.
I saw a man at the hotel lounge. He looked upset and stared blankly at the drink in his hand. A woman came to him and the two shared a few emotional words then the woman reached into her chest and pulled out the webs that connected the two of them and stormed off. The man sat at the bar, holding the disconnected webs in his hand, they began to turn black and I could see that this was causing him great pain. A different woman came and sat next to him at the bar. He took the ends of his blackening webs and drove them into this woman’s chest and they gained color again.
The clerk said:
“Sometimes when there is a painful break-up a person can dodge the pain for a while by connecting to any other person. But if they share no experiences the webs will weaken and die. It’s a sort of false connection made only to avoid pain. The only way to heal after the ripping out ones Electric Spider Webbing is to face the pain and rebuild your system core. It’s the only way.” With that we completed our business transaction. He ran my credit card and gave me the room key. The pain inside me was so terrible that I had to crawl to my room on hands and knees. Once I was inside I curled up on the floor and began rebuilding.
…That was the dream I had and when I woke up to reality my husband was sleeping soundly next to me in the early morning. There was no new house, no exotic showgirl, no hotel and no clerk. Still a twinge of jealously burned in my stomach as I looked at the innocent, unsuspecting face of sleeping man beside me. I woke him up with a sharp elbow to the ribs.
That’ll teach him…exotic showgirls…hump…