I’ve been away, on purpose and not really on purpose. I made a lot of art. I taught my first class. I met a lot of lovely new friends. I lost some beautiful old friends and loved ones. I got older. I became broken in different places on my body. I got fixed. I joined an arts coalition and helped organize events. I made posters, played music, listened to music and day dreamed. I broke my own heart, I taped it back together. I did the dishes, I rearranged the furniture. I took long drives with the sun roof open in the rain. I cried and cried and laughed and laughed.
I watched TV with my husband and I watched my kid ride his bike without training wheels for the first time. I painted murals. I sold some art in my first gallery show. I did some stuff for free because I wanted to. I got paid for some things and it surprised me. I read some books. I got some plants. I made myself sick. I made myself well. I got lost. I pined. I missed and I loved. I checked the mail.
Some days I killed it! I did 199 firsts and won some games. Some days I couldn’t get out of bed and I lay there all day in pain. I got up again. I went to the thrift store and scored some treasures. I gave some stuff away. I got stuck. I got unstuck. I accepted myself but only after I pretended to be a lot of other things. I held on tight and didn’t want to let go. I let go.
Some days I tried really hard. Some days I completely gave up. Then I decided to try some more. I watched helplessly while people I loved got hurt. I thought good thoughts for them and wished them well. I know it’s hard to think good thoughts and wish yourself well sometimes. That’s life. I get it. I get the good stuff. I get the bad stuff.
Even though I was busy I put myself on hiatus. I’m gonna come back now. I have some new ideas and I’m getting ready to work on some new things…